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Forevermore."Oh Marissa, you haven't changed."
What? Excuse me?
Negatory. No way.
You smile so blankly and laugh it off, as I smile back and threaten to pounce.
I haven't changed at all?
It's been four long years since I left you all.
Four long years since I trudged away from that darkness.
Back then I used to be so feeble.
So weak, coiled, and ready to pounce.
My mind and heart was an open book; as were my feelings, ready for attack.
I swung aimlessly from high to low, switching from shouts to tears in matters of seconds.
I couldn't control myself, and neither could anyone else.
People abandoned me then.
You weren't one but eventually you did.
You promised that when I moved nothing would change. We would continue to be what we always were, comrades fighting through life.
But when I left things changed.
You became hateful towards me, every word filled with the venom and malice that flicked off your Adder's tongue.
You became sweet and deceitful, like the most patient devil working for
Staying AboveBurning anger rises like bile in my throat
I choke it down, and pretend to smile
A painful hurt pierces my chest
I bite my lip and take the pain
Careless whispers and burning stares drift my way
I raise my head and continue to walk on
Verbal snake-tongued lashes and harassment filled devilish eyes
My heart beats faster as I keep my head turned forward
Uneasy pressure closes in tighter, your "best friend" joins forces with your enemy
I suck in a deep breath and enjoy this bit of irony
You continue to warp the facts in your head, I keep my mouth sealed tight
If anyone wants to know, I will show them proof
Vicious words dive in my direction like burning arrows
I let them sink into my back as I refuse to do the same
I zip my lips shut tight as you sink lower and lower
I will not be a player in your silly little game
I move on through my life silently, pausing to appreciate the people who saved me
The people who never left my side, no matter the distance
I wake up early to visit the elderly
BrokenCompletely broken down
Gasping for air
Choking and Drowning in my own despair
You say we are the best of friends
But where are you now?
Where were you hiding when my whole world fell down?
You've shown my no sympathy
Guilt, or even regret
Is that really the best I can get?
My chest is hurting
My throat is sealed up and tight
What have I done that is not considered right?
We were supposed to be friends
But where are you now...?
Just sitting back and watching,
As my whole world falls down
FearChoking on air
Staying above the surface
I take a deep breath in
Just to drown in it
My chest is tight and empty
My hands and knees are shaking
Your eyes are all locked onto me
And the Game begins once again
You reach out your arms for an embrace
I stare at it blankly
It is not my place
Nor has it ever been
Anger replaces joy in your gaze
Because you thought that this made it all better
That this would make the wounds instantly go away
But, did you ever once pause to think
That this damage would never go away?
You wanted me to go to the house
There, to the epitome of my torture
The birthplace of my despair
Tears roll down my cheeks just at the single thought
I won't go there, because I can't
Not without losing myself
Along with my sanity
They all say, "How good it is to see you!"
"We've missed you!"
And, "How have you been?"
"We've never agreed with her point of view."
But you never tried to stop it, either.
I watch in silence as they put her in the ground
Grandmother, the Puppet-maste
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More